I get really frustrated with feeling like nothing I have to say or show is worth anything so why even bother, but I also get really frustrated with feeling like I can’t or shouldn’t express myself and like I’m denying myself of that
my partner sometimes talks about how we “don’t do enough” and need to get out more and hang out with people more and part of me agrees but I think a bigger part of me absolutely does not want to do more and would rather not pretend that all of me does but like how much of a fucking drag does that make me?
Sometimes I want to be a different “better” person like be better at socializing eat better work out stop being lazy get a real job get better at the job I have and stop being so passive, but sometimes I am comfortable only seeing some friends every 3 months and eating lots of pasta and not forcing myself out of my comfort zone into a gym or whatever and I like having a lot of schedule flexibility and 6.5 hr work days despite that meaning I don’t make a lot of money and I’m already pretty good at my job and to be honest I think I do a better job than my coworkers and maybe I am a people pleaser but so what if it’s easier for me to be that way
